Friday, October 7, 2016

Upside the head with a 2x4

I had this youth leader in middle school who perfectly brought to picture what happens when God uses happenings in our daily life to bring our attention to something He wants to teach us. She called these our "2x4 moments."

Basically, I want you to see in your mind our great, wonderful Father (however you picture him - clad in white with flowing hair, or big and burly with a manly, Tom Selleck-esque judgment) picking up a 2x4 piece of wood and giving it a grand old swing aimed right at the back of your head.

"Like being hit upside the head with a 2x4" is still how I find it best to describe these super hind-sight obvious instances where I have just a total fallen nature, human moment. And let me tell you, this week was one of those.

Our house officially sold today! Throw up all the praise hand emojis, please! Thank you, Lord. This is something that I, as well as so many others (you know who you are, thank you!!!!) have been hardcore praying for. It's been a bit of a financial weight on mine and Adam's shoulders, and it feels so good to be rid of - the weight, not the house. I will continue to mourn leaving my little yellow home behind. But anyway...

I had been praying and looking forward to closing for nearly two months now - praying that the sale would go through and looking forward to the sweet relief of it. It had been perfect timing - we would stop paying a mortgage one month before we would have to start paying rent again, no overlap. Perfect! But just two days ago, it seemed that it wasn't going to happen. A few minor issues came up right at the last minute.

 I'd like to say I handled the stress with grace and even more faith, but no. I crumpled. I had a full-grown woman (ha! yeah right) meltdown. I was literally crying on mother's shoulder with a box of tissues in my hands. All of a sudden, the thing I had been trusting God for, praying with faith for, and which had been so wonderfully in His timing, seemed to be falling to pieces. All the "what ifs" and "I can't handles" and "what are we going to do!s" came rushing back into my mind.

And that's when it hit me, with snot and tears freely flowing, that 2x4 out of nowhere, right upside the head. I was seeing stars and God was gently prodding me, "What happened to letting me handle this?"

His quiet whisper, "I am bigger than these details. I am bigger than your finances. I am bigger than your fears. I've got this. I've got you."

And He brought to mind what I told my dad when we bought that house. I remember telling him it was a total God thing. We needed space for ourselves, our pups, and we wanted a home of our own to use for ministry. We weren't even looking for it and God dropped that dream right in our laps in the form of that little yellow house. And I told my dad, I wasn't the least bit worried about buying it because God led us to it. And I knew that whenever He led us away, He'd take care of selling it too.

Granted, that day came a whole lot sooner than I ever imagined. But throughout the whole process, God had been working some major miracles in things that only solidified my faith that He would take care of it. And yet, here I was, going to pieces and worrying over things that I couldn't change, things that I could do nothing about, asking where God was and why He wasn't working on our behalf.

Like I said, His words were gentle but the reminder was solid. He had it handled.

Now, the results could have been completely different. The sale could have not gone through. We might have still owned a house today. But that wouldn't have meant that God was any less involved. It just might not have looked like what I imagined. He may not have done it my way.

Nevertheless, God's got me. My 2x4, this seemingly super simple truth, we're talking basic Christianity stuff here, was to hold on to that faith. Because even when especially when things are out my control and I can't see an answer or a solution, God is still there. He's still bigger. He's more than capable. And He's still got me.

"...God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'
So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.'"
- Hebrews 13: 5,6

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