Life Update

So, man, it's been awhile since I've been around here. Life has been a little chaotic what with moving, beginning new careers, and everything that goes along with establishing ourselves in new communities (home, work, and church). Things have gone as smoothly as can be expected, and we're adapting pretty well, I'd say. We're finally to the point where I feel like we've got a bit of a routine. Our weeks generally follow a similar rhythm and as that is totally my jam, that makes our lives feel more settled in my mind.

Since you haven't heard from me lately, I thought a quick update might be appropriate. We'll do this bullet style, how about it?

• We found ourselves a cute, albeit tiny, apartment with a bit of a yard for our pups. My main move-in goal was met the first week we were here - to have no moving boxes in any lived-in areas. The contents of our garage and basement are currently shoved haphazardly in the "guest room" - said room needs some major help. I just close the door and ignore the mess.
• Adam seems to enjoy his work as a medic. Honestly, I'm still not sure what he does all day, but he comes home with funny stories. 
• I am working as a math tutor at a middle school. I'm kind of loving it. I never thought I'd enjoy math so much - it's so fun to teach! My kids are pretty cheeky so there's never a dull moment. They definitely keep me on my toes and laughing...hilarious little boogers. 
• We found a church that we love - yay! Church shopping is the worst, but this was the second one we tried and it is AWESOME. If you ever find yourself near Manhattan, KS on a Sunday, stop by. I've recently started volunteering with the kid's ministry, it's a total blast! We're also getting connected with a small group. Yay for getting to know people! 
• Speaking of that, we're slowly making some friends in the area. I'm way bad at this guys. Seriously, I really need to work on my people skills. "Hi, my name is Jess. What's your name?" Didn't I learn this stuff in preschool? 
• We are frequent visitors of the dog park. Especially the last few weeks because it's been 70 degrees in February!!!
• The pups and I survived our first field experience - meaning Adam was gone for an extended period of time (this one with no contact whatsoever). It wasn't quite as bad as I thought it would be. Still not looking forward to the next one though. 
• And we're getting our first visitors this weekend! Adam's folks are coming to town and I'm so stoked for a touch of home. 

I think that's about it. Do you feel thoroughly updated on all things Ridgeway? 

Upside the head with a 2x4

I had this youth leader in middle school who perfectly brought to picture what happens when God uses happenings in our daily life to bring our attention to something He wants to teach us. She called these our "2x4 moments."

Basically, I want you to see in your mind our great, wonderful Father (however you picture him - clad in white with flowing hair, or big and burly with a manly, Tom Selleck-esque mustache...no judgment) picking up a 2x4 piece of wood and giving it a grand old swing aimed right at the back of your head.

"Like being hit upside the head with a 2x4" is still how I find it best to describe these super hind-sight obvious instances where I have just a total fallen nature, human moment. And let me tell you, this week was one of those.

Our house officially sold today! Throw up all the praise hand emojis, please! Thank you, Lord. This is something that I, as well as so many others (you know who you are, thank you!!!!) have been hardcore praying for. It's been a bit of a financial weight on mine and Adam's shoulders, and it feels so good to be rid of - the weight, not the house. I will continue to mourn leaving my little yellow home behind. But anyway...

I had been praying and looking forward to closing for nearly two months now - praying that the sale would go through and looking forward to the sweet relief of it. It had been perfect timing - we would stop paying a mortgage one month before we would have to start paying rent again, no overlap. Perfect! But just two days ago, it seemed that it wasn't going to happen. A few minor issues came up right at the last minute.

 I'd like to say I handled the stress with grace and even more faith, but no. I crumpled. I had a full-grown woman (ha! yeah right) meltdown. I was literally crying on mother's shoulder with a box of tissues in my hands. All of a sudden, the thing I had been trusting God for, praying with faith for, and which had been so wonderfully in His timing, seemed to be falling to pieces. All the "what ifs" and "I can't handles" and "what are we going to do!s" came rushing back into my mind.

And that's when it hit me, with snot and tears freely flowing, that 2x4 out of nowhere, right upside the head. I was seeing stars and God was gently prodding me, "What happened to letting me handle this?"

His quiet whisper, "I am bigger than these details. I am bigger than your finances. I am bigger than your fears. I've got this. I've got you."

And He brought to mind what I told my dad when we bought that house. I remember telling him it was a total God thing. We needed space for ourselves, our pups, and we wanted a home of our own to use for ministry. We weren't even looking for it and God dropped that dream right in our laps in the form of that little yellow house. And I told my dad, I wasn't the least bit worried about buying it because God led us to it. And I knew that whenever He led us away, He'd take care of selling it too.

Granted, that day came a whole lot sooner than I ever imagined. But throughout the whole process, God had been working some major miracles in things that only solidified my faith that He would take care of it. And yet, here I was, going to pieces and worrying over things that I couldn't change, things that I could do nothing about, asking where God was and why He wasn't working on our behalf.

Like I said, His words were gentle but the reminder was solid. He had it handled.

Now, the results could have been completely different. The sale could have not gone through. We might have still owned a house today. But that wouldn't have meant that God was any less involved. It just might not have looked like what I imagined. He may not have done it my way.

Nevertheless, God's got me. My 2x4, this seemingly super simple truth, we're talking basic Christianity stuff here, was to hold on to that faith. Because even when especially when things are out my control and I can't see an answer or a solution, God is still there. He's still bigger. He's more than capable. And He's still got me.

"...God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'
So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.'"
- Hebrews 13: 5,6

Thoughts on going back to school

I remember graduating with my undergrad and thinking how I was sooooo done. The often asked, "thinking of going for your masters?" was quickly stifled with a "oh, heck no." And that was only two years ago! Well, a lot can change in two years I suppose.

So hear I am. Back in school. Again.

Now before I continue, let me tell you, I am so grateful for the opportunity to be in school again. Over the last two years, my desire to teach has grown and grown and here I am finally being able to go after it. That makes me so happy!

However the actuality of studying, being slowly flattened under a ginormous load of required reading, and racking my brain for the precise words I need in order to properly convey my ideas in a paper - yeah, those suck. I have been quickly reminded why I said I was "sooooo done."

But, it's what has to be done. Hard work makes the dream work, right?

Let me tell you this as well, there were a number of general education classes that I managed to avoid in my undergraduate degree. I was able to skirt the system and take something a little more enjoyable. That has come back to bite me right in the tukus.

Yep, I'm talking about you, biology. I'm talking about you.

So with that in mind, here are a few of my (quite literal) thoughts on returning to school.

"Why? Why? Why??? WHY????? WHY!!!!!!!!"

"I cannot read one. more. single. page." ...50 pages later... "not another one!"

"I'm an idiot. I can't do this. That's it. I'm done. No more. Screw teaching."
Takes a break, wanders through the isles of Walmart. Get's a milkshake.
"Okay, I got this. I CAN do this. This will be worth it!"

"I am never going to have a social life again."

When seeing that biology is actually applicable to everyday life. "Did you know...." And continuing to inform my husband about everything I can remember concerning the growth patterns of plants. 
...as this has happened numerous times, "Wow, I guess biology is actually important."

"I'm gonna fail. I don't get this. I am going to FAIL!" ...gets a 94. "See!!!????"

"Hmmmm, this is why I've seen great declines in my stress levels the last few years. I haven't been expected to regurgitate 300 pages of reading in 20 questions."

And side note, "Could we please stick to questions that are actually important!?"

Watching Grey's Anatomy and telling everyone, "I know what that means!!!!" And again, going on to explain in as much detail as I can recollect. 

"This program is going to take me how long!!!????"

"Think about the children. Just think about the children."

"I can do this, right? Yes. Yes, I can."

So anyway, if you don't hear from me for a while, I'm probably reading a textbook.
And repeating my mantra of "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can." :)

All moved in and ready to go

Well, we made it.

The long trek from South Dakota to West Virginia is over. Jordan helped me pack out the car, load up the pups, and drive the 1,000+ miles/20+ hours. Well, really I helped him drive, as he did the bulk of it. But, hey - who's counting.

We arrived yesterday afternoon so I had plenty of time to unpack and move back into my childhood bedroom. It looks quite different from the last time I lived here. All the walls are blank rather than covered in the myriad of posters I had hung. ...and there aren't clothes everywhere or stuffed animals jammed into every available crevice. It is now an adult's room! - yeah right. It's actually pretty bare. But as I'll be sharing this room with two dogs, I'd prefer it that way. Plenty of room for everyone :)

Tonight my family and I are heading to my grandma's. She'll be dropping us off at the airport in the morning for our flight to Curacao. I am so ready for some tropical relaxation!

Move to WV - check

Unpack - check

Quickly press on to the next adventure - check

I'm coming for you, sunshine!

The Adventure Continues...

Side note: I wrote this post a month ago. However, I'm just now posting it because there are a number of people that needed this news to be told in person. Now that is done, so back to your usually scheduled programming...

I'm struggling with how to write this. What are the best words? I've started typing away only to get a paragraph or so written out before deleting it all and starting over. But why is it so hard? At this point mostly all of the people we care about most and who will be directly affected by the news already know. We've already pushed through the hard parts, the difficult conversations. Sharing it with the general public shouldn't be so tricky.

I guess it's because I'm a details gal. I like to know every fact and feeling that goes into making a decision. Big picture is great, but the good stuff, the meat, is in the details. And in this particular instance I feel that the details, the whys and hows, are really important. This big picture might not make sense without the pieces that created it.

...but there are a whole lot of details. We're talking about a decision that was recently made, but was sparked almost 8-9 months ago. How do you begin to break down that process of moving from point A to point B over the span of almost a full year? Maybe I'm making this too hard for all of us?

How about this. Let's start with the big picture and work out the details from there. Deal?

Okay. Phew. Here we go.

Adam and I have resigned from our positions at Family Worship Center. We announced this to the congregation and to our youth (almost a month ago.)

In addition, Adam (along with his super-supportive wife) has chosen to join the Army and will be leaving for Basic Training at the beginning of May - one week from today. Meanwhile, I will be spending the summer at home in West Virginia with my family. After basic and his AIT, which will be completed in mid-November, we will move to our assigned duty station.

Over the last year, God has been working us both through the process of separating our calling to be pastors from our profession. The process looked completely different for both of us but it brought us to the same conclusion. We have dreams and desires for our lives and ministries that can't be completed in our current positions. We felt God calling us onward and we've watched Him close and open so many doors throughout this process that we are certain we are doing the right thing.

Not only that, but let me tell you about the peace. This whole decision is just wrapped in the stuff. You'd think the prospect of my husband having a job that will most likely require him to enter a war zone at one point or another would totally freak me out. As mentioned (many times) before, my natural inclination is to worry before there is anything to worry about. But not here.

I've repeated to God so many times over the last few months, "just show us what you want us to do." I wanted signs. Peace was the biggest sign for me. Recently, I was listening to this podcast by Havilah Cunnington and her advice in making big (and small) decisions was "follow your peace." This resonated with me so clearly because she just put into words what I was feeling. My inner dialoguing self jumped up and down with hands in the air yelling "YES! YES! YES!" And let me tell you, this peace isn't mine. It's all God's. I believe I am fully experiencing that peace that transcends all understanding because if it made sense to me I'd totally be panicking. But peace just continues to prevail. And I can't begin to explain how comforting and wonderful that is to walk in.

So yeah, there you go. Not a whole ton of details, but hey, who needs those anyway!? This decision wasn't "easy." It hurts that we have to leave the friends we've made here and our youth kids - they're seriously the best and I'm gonna miss them like crazy. But I'm trusting that God has His reasons. It might not make total sense now (or ever, this side of Heaven) but I believe my God is good and I'll willingly place my life in His hands.

And as always, the adventure continues.

Sometimes life gets real

To quote my ever-wise, little bro, sometimes "life just gets real."

I'm amazed at how real life can be so totally exciting and absolutely, flat-out, overwhelmingly terrifying at the same time.

I think Peter Pan might have had the right idea about things. Adulting is exhausting. Am I right!?