This week I'm learning that being the hands and feet of Christ is hard work. So often I say "God, please use me" but then I'm unwilling to be challenged or stretched. I want my service to be comfortable, simple, easy. I don't want it to cost me anything - literally. Come on Lord, I'm on a budget here.
Yes, the Gospel is wonderfully and beautifully free, but it costs to spread it. It'll cost time, energy, and money. It takes work. It takes building intentional relationships. It takes lots and lots of prayer. It takes a car ride on a busy Wednesday night when I have so much to get done. It takes being willing to listen for sometimes long periods of time. It takes making myself available. And I'm finding that it will probably always take more time than I think.
Yesterday I spent my car rides audibly venting my frustrations to God (the people driving around me probably thought I was crazy). I just wanted Him to tell me when enough was enough. How many times was I going to have to go through the same cycle over and over before I saw some results?When is the time to wipe the dust off my sandals and move on? When am I allows to call it quits? It hurts. It's costing me money. It's costing me time. What do I do?
I remember saying that I wish He would respond audibly because I really wanted to know. I needed some answers.
Funny thing, prayer - it actually works.
No, I didn't hear the audible booming voice of God. Instead, He planned for my husband to share the perfect message with the youth. He planted some wonderfully challenging words in Adam's mouth that I desperately needed to hear. And I have my answers.
I would have loved to hear that I should throw in the towel and give up. That would have been easy. But you know, we aren't called to live easy lives. Christ was our example and He was willing to die. With that in mind, how hard is it really for me to spend a few bucks a week in gas if it means one person realizing who He is and all that He did for them?
So, I'll continue. It won't be easy or comfortable and I may never see the results, but I'll continue to ask Him to use me. And I sure hope that He continues to teach me what it truly looks like to imitate Christ. Shew, I've got a long way to go.
Who wants to be my accountability partner? I really need someone to smack some sense into me when I start complaining. But really.
Picture by Wyman H / unsplash.com
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